... A Sour Apple Tree

Your source for fast and/or frozen food reviews, Huntington and/or West Virginia commentary, rasslin' (not wrestling) nostalgia, bad parody, dumb satire, rejected slogans, pointless lists, unreliable sports predictions, and funny local pictures.

Location: Huntington, WV, United States

I'm a 33 year-old guy from Huntington, WV.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

My Top 12 Tudor's Biscuits

In honor of the 12 Days of Biscuits at Tudor's Biscuit World, here are my 12 favorite biscuits from Tudor's:
  1. 1. Mary B (bacon, egg, cheese)---Loads of bacon that is actually crispy (unlike most other places), a real fried egg, and a slice of what tastes like government cheese. Breakfast perfection.
  2. 2. Thundering Herd (sausage, egg, cheese, hash brown patty)---Even the most blindly partisan WVU fan admits that lil' brother got the better deal in biscuit nomenclature. I add mustard to mine.
  3. 3. Lumberjack (sausage, mustard, grape jelly)---Full disclosure: this is on no menu and, if you tried to order it under this name, you'd get blank-to-judgmental looks from the cashier. That said, the sweet & sour combination of the mustard & grapes compliment the saltiness of the sausage patty perfectly.
  4. 4. Ron (sausage, egg, cheese)---What I get when I want a Thundering Herd when I'm trying to watch my carbs ;). Also, $1.99 coupons for this one are almost always floating around somewhere.
  5. 5. Miner (bacon, hash brown patty, melted cheese)---I hate the name, as I don't usually associate coal mines with appetizing food, but a very good recent addition to the menu.
  6. 6. Dottie (egg, hash brown patty, cheese)---Perfect for the vegetarian w/ a big Appalachian streak.
  7. 7. Bacon (bacon)---Easy on the budget & delicious.
  8. 8. Peppi (pepperoni, melted cheese)---If WV ever joins WA & CO in decriminalizing marijuana, I expect the sales of this biscuit to increase by 1000%.
  9. 9. Duke (bacon, egg, cheese, hash brown patty)---While I love a Mary B with a hash brown, I prefer that they be kept separate. That said, I would never, ever, ever turn down a Duke if offered.
  10. 10. Golden Eagle (Canadian bacon, egg, cheese, hash brown patty)---I generally prefer sausage or bacon on my biscuit, but if I'm gonna go the Great White North route, I'm gonna add all the fixin's.
  11. 11. Apple butter (apple butter)---Like having dessert for breakfast.
  12. 12. Shaved Ham Melt (shaved ham, melted cheese)---I'm more likely to get this one if I'm having it for an early lunch.
Well, as you can tell, I love my Tudor's. What's your favorite?

Note: This post is my own opinion & I am in no way sponsored or compensated by Tudor's. I'm just a fanboy who likes good biscuits & loves West Virginia.

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Thursday, July 12, 2012

Top 5 Tea Flavors of the moment,

1) Irish breakfast
2) Masala
3) Gunpowder
4) Pu-Erh
5) English breakfast

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Saturday, March 26, 2011

Top ten favorite restaurants of the moment

1. Sam's Hot Dog Stand of 8th Street (Huntington) - Best location of the best WV hot dog franchise.

2. Tudor's Biscuit World in Teays Valley - Crispest bacon of any of the Advantage Valley Tudor's.

3. Young Chow's (Beckley) - Best Chinese food in WV.

4. Etta's (Seattle) - Best upscale casual place in downtown Seattle (killer raw oysters).

5. Kroger's sushi bar. Don't hate, their sushi rolls are adequate and convenient. I stick to the non-raw products, though.

6. Steak 'n Shake - Yes, please.

7. Captain D's - This place will jump jump dramatically if/when they bring back the fried pickles.

8. Chick-fil-A - Terrible politics, terrific chicken.

9. Nawab - Far from perfect, but it is Huntington's only real option for Indian food.

10. KFC - Dark meat Original Recipe FTW!

Hon Mentions: Lee's Famous Recipe, Gold Star, White Castle, Krystal

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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

TCU joining the Big East: My pointless take

Pro: TCU + Big East is a logical choice that saves/creates BCS opportunity for all parties involved.

Con: The expansion, especially with the addition of Villanova football, isn't enough to keep the Big East from being the "Big Least" in terms of the 6 BCS conferences and it helps to further establish the almost universally despised BcS (emphasis on capital letters).

Final verdict: It is good for established TCU and Big East fans, to a degree, but it does little to change my view of college football as a minor league for the NFL and/or a chance for alumni to get drunk in parking lots.

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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Pointless comment on Hurricane-South Charleston football brawl

So the WVSSAC can't look at a video of the brawl between the Hurricane and South Charleston football players?

That sounds like just the sort of S.M.R.T. rule that high school athletic directors would write...

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Tuesday, November 16, 2010


"Holy FIRE BAD!!!!, Batman"

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Monday, November 15, 2010

Grace Potter & The Nocturnals pics from October 23, 2010 show in Huntington

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Colt McCoy, FTW (even if it was an overtime loss)

As a Browns fan, I had completely forgotten what it is like to have a quarterback who actually has the self-confidence to not realize that our QBs are supposed to be losers. The thought that he will probably lose never seems to enter McCoy's mind (as was not the case with Couch, Quinn, etc.).

If the Browns can snag a decent receiver and get some better play in the secondary next season, hell, we might even have a shot at some playoffs.

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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Grace Potter & The Nocturnals and The Avett Brothers, Part 2: Notes on Potter


  • I got to take photos from in front of the stage during the first three songs (I'll post the best after I sort through the 200 or so) of both acts. After I returned to the festival seating section, Grace Potter flicked her guitar pick and it landed in the narrow walkway for the photogs. Sadly, it was gone by the time that got to go back to take snaps of the Avett Bros.

  • I overheard someone saying that Grace Potter has the stage presence & voice of Stevie Nicks. They are half right. Her mannerisms during the songs where she isn't playing piano or guitar are Nicksian, but her voice is sooo much better.

  • I also heard several positive, if politically incorrect, comments about Potter's attractiveness.

  • During the last song of the Nocturnals' set, they all beat on the drum kit. It made for a classic concert highpoint.

  • My quads are still aching from all of the ducking in the photog walkway (I didn't want to block anyone's view for too long).

  • I got a sweet GPN shirt for $25.

  • Her set, overall, was awesome. I would gladly pay to see her as the headliner sometime. I figure I'll use one of the inevitable Xmas iTunes gift cards on some of her music.

  • GPN's set: 4 out of 5 beers spilled on my shoes.

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Monday, October 25, 2010

Grace Potter & The Nocturnals and The Avett Brothers, Part 1

I was given the opportunity to cover the Grace Potter/Avett Brothers concert Saturday night and both acts kicked major ass!!

I'll be posting tons of comments and pics over the next few days, but in the mean time, here are their upcoming dates:

Grace Potter & The Nocturnals

The Avett Brothers

If either band is coming to a town near you, be sure to check 'em out.

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Back from vacation

Whew, those two months of sabbatical from blogging paid off, big time. I "researched" the blogging methodology employed by residents of Key West (at the dime of the Robert C. Byrd School of Blogonomics) for most of the time, with a brief stop at a conference held in many of Savannah, GA's finest restaurants.

Sure, I had to tweet from those locations as part of the grant and I will continue to use that Twitter address, but it is time to get back to the serious business of list making, inaccurate cartography, fast food analysis, and cock towel jokes.

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Monday, August 16, 2010

Fake Emmy ballot (preview)

Anything but Glee.

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Thursday, August 05, 2010

Random crap I can recall

  • Dale Murphy being a shoo-in Hall of Famer.

  • 16 ounce bottles of Mr. Pibb, Mello Yello, and New Coke for $.39. I was beyond pissed when they jacked the prices to $.45.

  • Actually hearing it first on MTV News.

  • The NFL taking a distant backseat to Major League Baseball.

  • Chinese (well, Chinese-American) food being considered "exotic."

  • John Raese's political viability.

  • Old folks using "colored" and "negro" as genuine attempts at being respectful.

  • Chopper 13, a sweet news copter owned by WOWK before they went a low-tech & Charleston-centric.

  • Actually thinking that Charleston and Huntington were big cities.

  • Three football seasons in the late 90s where, if they had played, Marshall would have walloped a weak WVU football squad.

  • Marlboro cigarettes costing $1.59 after tax.

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Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Rivals top party school list, Marshall tops in going home every weekend after Thursday classes

According to Princeton Review, Marshall's logical, organic, nearby, Mid-Major rival, Ohio University (by the way, why on earth are we not still in the MAC...it made so much more sense than playing unknown schools 2000 miles away...), and our Manchin-imposed, lower-BCS foe, WVU, are the 2nd and 4th highest rated party schools, respectively.

Marshall University, on the other hand, finished 456th, between Eastern Oklahoma School of Accounting and BYU.

Note: after selecting Marshall, I messed with a WVU recruiter at my high school by asking him about what bars served underage kids and if they really had the best weed up there. He was none too amused and bristled at even the suggestion that WVU might be a rootin'-tootin', couch-burnin', bong-hittin' party school.

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Monday, August 02, 2010

Top Ten Beverages of the Moment

1. Pepsi Max. In Ohio but not in Huntington, you buy them by the Cube.

2. Vitaminwater Connect. 100 mg caffeine per bottle!

3. Tap water. WV American doesn't make the best, but it is hot and humid outside and tap water is cheap and refreshing.

4. McDonald's iced caramel coffee. Tastes almost as good as the latte, but you get a shit-ton more for the money.

5. Ale-8 & cherry vanilla ice cream float. Summer in a mug.

6. The milk left over from a bowl of chocolate cereal. 45% better than Nesquick.

7. Nesquick.

8. Celsius. The official beverage of Mario Lopez.

9. Green Apple Tango. How I miss thee.

10. Long John Silvers IceFlow Frozen Lemonade. Half price during "happy hour."

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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

MasterChef review in one word


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Friday, July 23, 2010

My grilled corn on the cob recipe

1) Pull back husk and remove the silk. You can thin out some of the husk but DO NOT remove it entirely!

2) Get all porno on the ear with margarine (not butter, as vegetable oils work better in this heat than dairy fats) and season with any of the following: salt & pepper, Old Bay, or Tony Chachere's.

3) Restore husk to original position. This will allow the corn to cook a bit via steam before being finished off from the flames of the grill.

4) Place on hot charcoal (or gas, if you must) grill, turning every so often.

5) Allow the husks to burn off completely.

6) Turn the naked ears regularly to get a nice caramelization and serve with butter or margarine.

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Monday, July 19, 2010

Songs of my life: fave five from 1980

Part 2 of a continuing series

George Jones- "He Stopped Loving Her Today"

David Bowie- "Ashes to Ashes"

Talking Heads- "Once in a Lifetime"

Pink Floyd- "Another Brick in the Wall, part 2"

Dire Straits- "Romeo and Juliet"

Hon mention: The Clash- "Hitsville UK"*

Note: I play pretty loose between album and single release, if applicable. Arbitrary lists are arbitrary.

*---Also one of my least favorite songs of all-time, depending on my mood.

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Friday, July 16, 2010

Top Ten Favorite Foods of the Moment

1. Arby's Steakhouse Sub

2. Wife's homemade granola bars

3. Mr. Stripey tomatoes

4. Chicken tikka masala

5. Tortilla chips with lime salt & lime flavored salsa

6. Maryland-style imitation crab cakes (too poor for the real stuff)

7. Breyers cherry vanilla ice cream

8. The pulled pork from the Golden Corral buffet with that East Carolina bbq sauce

9. Chili's Southern Smokehouse Bacon Burger

10. Golden Grahams

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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Say what you want about the iPhone 4's antenna...

...but the camera rocks.

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