... A Sour Apple Tree

Your source for fast and/or frozen food reviews, Huntington and/or West Virginia commentary, rasslin' (not wrestling) nostalgia, bad parody, dumb satire, rejected slogans, pointless lists, unreliable sports predictions, and funny local pictures.

Location: Huntington, WV, United States

I'm a 37 year-old guy from Huntington, WV.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

The Nutty Professor has a new job...

A friend in Jacksonville sent me this link. Looks like Prof. Klump has a new line of work. Good for him.

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006

My arbitrary ranking of the presidents

Here is my crack at making a pointless ranking of the Presidents of the United States. I am not including any of the Prezzies that served within my memory (Reagan-) so that my rankings will not be colored by my prejudices nor am I including William Henry Harrison or James Garfield, as they served for less than a year before kicking the Oval Bucket.

The Jay-Z's
1) Lincoln
2) FDR
3) Washington
4) Jefferson
5) Polk
6) T. Roosevelt
7) Truman
The Eminems
8) Monroe
9) McKinley
10) Jackson
11) Wilson
12) Eisenhower
13) Cleveland
14) JFK
The Snoop Doggs
15) Madison
16) John Adams
17) Arthur
18) JQ Adams
19) LBJ
20) Hayes
21) Van Buren
The Dr. Dre's
22) Taft
23) Carter
24) Nixon
25) Ford
26) Taylor
27) Coolidge
The MC Hammers
28) B. Harrison
29) Hoover
30) Grant
31) Tyler
32) Fillmore
The Kevin Federlines
33) A Johnson
34) Pierce
35) Buchanan
36) Harding

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Cool science stuff

Scientists have taken their first look at the weird, wild, and wacky creatures that live near the deep sea methane vents of the Pacific Ocean.

These life forms use the methane for nutrition in a portion of the ocean that is so deep that it receives no sunlight.

On a related note, my nightmares will now have a new recurring villain.

Photo from the BBC.

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Saturday, November 25, 2006


... to WOWK and WSAZ, who both had employees manning the Salvation Army bells at the Huntington Wal-Mart.

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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

High schoolers these days...

...are so much more clever than I was in my day. I thought I was cool when I made nice-looking posterboards. Now with computer technology, they can do amazing things. This kid made an awesome video about James K. Polk set to the eponymous They Might Be Giants song. Enjoy.

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Tuesday, November 21, 2006

*GASP* Bray Cary is right for once

I am usually not a fan of Bray Cary's opinions. I often consider his political views to be a brand of country club conservatism that is out of touch with the needs of America and the hearts of West Virginians. I find his approach to news to be pandering (I don't need help from a news station for "protecting my family," I've got a t-ball bat for that), simplistic (every time I hear "Live & Local" I throw up in my mouth a little bit), and born primarily out of his expertise in marketing (a field in which I must admit he is quite brilliant, i.e. his consolidation of Nascar TV rights that was worth billions).

Now that I've said that to someone other than my wife (who was quite tired of my rant, I'm sure), I do have to comment on his take on the whole Pink Bridge thing.

He is correct.

It's almost like if the people of Huntington get worked up over this issue that, in the great scheme of things, doesn't amount to a hill of beans, we won't have to deal with the real shit that is facing the city.

If we could only take this energy being generated on both sides of the debate, maybe we could get something done.

Bravo, Mr. Cary (for once anyway).

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Monday, November 20, 2006

LaDainian Tomlinson

I was lucky enough to draft this guy with the third pick in my fantasy draft (I would have taken him first, by the way), so I have been following his season more so than I usually would that of a running back on the Chargers.

All I can say is wow. I grew up watching Barry Sanders and Emmitt Smith (you know, the Dancing with the Stars guy), so I though by default that there were always a couple of amazing backs in the league that could change a game each and every time they touched the ball. After Sanders' retirement and Smith's slide into mediocrity, I learned that greatness was not a given.

Now LT (yes, we can call him that) has come along and started to shred the records of Sanders, Smith, Walter Payton, and Jim Brown to itty bitty shreds.

Whenever this guy has a televised game over the next couple of years, be sure to watch it, even if it means missing your favorite team. There is a fairly good chance that something will happen that you'll end up telling your grand kids about.

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Sunday, November 19, 2006

Once again, no Browns...

I thought that this week would be when we would finally get to see a Browns game on TV, as WOWK has seemingly come to the decision that all of West Virginia (and the Tristate) are fans of the Steelers and, as luck might have it, they play the Browns today.

WRONG!!! We get the Bengals and Saints instead.

I've long been under the impression that West Virginia Media Holdings is somewhat out of touch with the citizenry of WV (more on that later, I'm sure). But dammit, I am sure that there are many more Browns and Steelers fans in the WOWK viewing area than there are fans if the Bengals.

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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

No wonder the 'net is so popular...

According to a government study, one percent of the Internet is porn.

That reminds me of a commercial a few years back for a broadband ISP where a web surfer was warned by his computer "you have reached the end of the Internet, please go back."

I always thought that the guy must have looked at some nasty, filthy porn action to reach that point.

Now I know that he did.

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Tuesday, November 14, 2006


Well, my name is Chris James this is my blog. After a few posts on the West Virginia Hot Dog Blog, I decided to get my own blog. I will still be posting all of my Huntington area hot dog reviews over there but for my general rants, comments, musing and, miscellaneity I decided to get my own page so Stanton would not be held accountable for any of my mind spillage.

"...A Sour Apple Tree" refers to an old song that was sang during the Civil War and the West Virginia Mine Wars. Basically, folks would sing "We'll hang (name of enemy) from a sour apple tree" to the tune of "John Brown's Body."

Here I will post on all sorts of topics: politics, sports, culture, internet life, and who knows what else. Hang with me as I figure this thing out. Cheers.