... A Sour Apple Tree

Your source for fast and/or frozen food reviews, Huntington and/or West Virginia commentary, rasslin' (not wrestling) nostalgia, bad parody, dumb satire, rejected slogans, pointless lists, unreliable sports predictions, and funny local pictures.

Location: Huntington, WV, United States

I'm a 37 year-old guy from Huntington, WV.

Friday, January 26, 2007

If I said you had a beautiful state, would you hold it against me?

OK, so just about everyone; left and right, young and old, resident and out-of-stater; likes the phrase "Wild, Wonderful" and thinks it should the slogan placed on West Virginia's welcome signs and tourist materials.

Well, almost everyone.

A couple of years ago, Gov. Joe Manchin replaced the much-beloved slogan with "Open for Business" in order to market the state as an attractive location for business and manufacturing. I can see where he was coming from, too. Manchin was elected largely on a platform of bringing jobs to WV and catapulting our state's economy to as high as 45th or (dare I say) even 40th in the nation. Look out Arkansas, Mississippi, and Alabama.

You can understand why Manchin would want to use every tool available to fulfil his campaign promises (rumor has it that a US Senate seat may open up in 2-25 years, depending on Byrd's health). The whole signage thing would kinda make sense, if the final product wasn't so, well, dumb.

"Wild, Wonderful" speaks to the heart and the essence of the mythology that West Virginia has built for itself. "Open for Business," on the other hand, sounds like a really bad porno.

Furthermore, "OfB" sounds too desperate. Think about it. It's kind of like that girl in the tight shirt at the bar that gets waaay too drunk by 9 PM and starts sitting on everybody's lap in order to get some precious, precious attention. Sure, she was fun for the evening, but did you call her back?

If we keep this up, WV will have a new slogan: "America's Practice Girl."

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007


It's good to see that NBC is trying really hard not to suck, which is a drastic improvement over the past few years, where it seemed to be attempting to do just the opposite. To me, NBC is television. I grew up in the era of Cosby, Cheers, Seinfeld, Night Court, etc. when NBC was the source of all quality TV while ABC skewed young and CBS went for the geriatric crowd and Fox was basically Married...With Children and/or The Simpsons.

NBC's Thursday lineup is the first two hour comedy block in quite some time that doesn't have at least one show that makes me want to stab out my eyes with a spork. The Monday dramas are great, too (Heroes, Studio 60), although I could live without the Howie Mandel game show thing.

What about y'all? What network is putting on the best lineup? What about new show, any of them got you excited?

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Thursday, January 18, 2007

More special boxes

By now, everyone has seen The SNL Digital Short "A Special Christmas Box" and about 23874980237 parodies/knockoff. Well, I've sorted them out and here is, by far, the best.

It's called "My Box in a Box" and, um, well, you get the point.



Monday, January 15, 2007

What can I say that is useful at all?

I don't think there is anything at all that is useful that I can say about the Emmons Jr. apartment fire, but here's my shot....

Go give money. What you can.

Or gather some extra, unneeded clothes.

Or make some sandwiches for the workers and/or the displaced.

Or, if you are the political type, demand better fire safety in Huntington's older apartment buildings.

Or pray/meditate/mourn/think (whatever your thing may be).

Just don't sit around in shock like I have done.

I'm off to raid the penny jug.

And write some letters.

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Friday, January 12, 2007

This does not look good.

Today the Herald-Dispatch is reporting that Moe's Southwestern Grill and Feast of the Dragon have unexpectedly "closed for remodelling."

Yeah right.

How many places are we waiting for to re-open from remodelling?

To borrow from Judge Judy, "don't pee on my leg and tell me that it's raining."

The Feast was very good, but I am more of a take-out guy than a buffet guy when it comes to Chinese food. Give me New China Garden (the place on 6th Ave and 8th St) any day. If you get $30 worth of takeout there, they give you a free order of General Tso's chicken. And trust me, a family of three can eat off of $30 worth of their food for a week.

I never bothered to go to Moe's, as my heart still aches for Calamity Cafe and I was never really ready for a new southwestern joint.

Hopefully one of those buildings can be filled with retail space of some sort, which is what Pullman Square needs anyhow.

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Wednesday, January 03, 2007

2006 Appies (Internet fads)

  • Website of the Year: Youtube. http://www.youtube.com.

    Take a dash of laughing babies, two teaspoons of college kids acting like fools, and stir in a healthy portion of gray area in copyright law, and you've got the recipe for overnight billionairedom.

    It's the perfect entertainment site for those with a limied attention spa,,,
  • The Next Big Thing on the Web Award: Wikimapia. http://www.wikimapia.org

    Wikimapia applies the user-driven nature of a wiki to the world of Google Maps. In a nutshell, you can identify and describe most any point on the globe for your fellow bored netizens that were always wondering where and what the Piedmont Pantry was but never knew that they should ever bother to ask.
  • Minor Internet Celebrity of the Year: LisaNova on youtube.

    First, watch this, then watch this.

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