... A Sour Apple Tree

Your source for fast and/or frozen food reviews, Huntington and/or West Virginia commentary, rasslin' (not wrestling) nostalgia, bad parody, dumb satire, rejected slogans, pointless lists, unreliable sports predictions, and funny local pictures.

Location: Huntington, WV, United States

I'm a 37 year-old guy from Huntington, WV.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Well, this blows.

Scientists have uncovered a significant correlation between oral sex (based on the wording of the article, it seems to be referring to fellatio more so that cunnilingus) and certain types of oral cancers caused by HPV. As is the case with certain types of cervical cancers, the virus is transfered from the penis to the oral cavity during contact.

This comes as a rude awakening to many Gen X and Gen Y heterosexual women and homosexual men that consider/considered giving head to be a safer alternative to vaginal or anal intercourse. For example, one of my college friends was technically a virgin, but dispensed enough BJs to make a truck stop hooker blush. Others, while not opposed to traditional sex, used fellatio as a means to avoid the time, energy, and mess that can result from sex, especially in confined spaces like a car or a bathroom at a party.

I seriously doubt that these findings with cause a shift in American sexual mores or steer people towards the use of condoms while engaging in oral sex. What these findings should do, however, is alert the public of the dangers posed by HPV and the fact that, with time and research, vaccines can likely be developed to combat the strains responsible for these cancers and that HPV is a problem for men, too (especially if possible links between HPV and penile cancer are proven).

To the single folk out there, I know that the dating scene is killer and there are certain expectations that only increase as you get older. But remember, what was once thought of as consequence-free behavior is now shown to have some serious side effects. I am by no means preaching abstinence from these activities, just be careful out there.

Remember y'all: he might groan about it, but, when it comes down to it, he probably won't turn down a hand job.

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Blogger JDB said...

Go find Dan Savage's column this week. He writes about it and points out that it's really not that bad. Given the rarity of oral cancers and such, it probably doesn't up your chances of contracting such things that much.

Thursday, May 17, 2007  
Blogger Chris James said...

You got me, JDB, so it is time to spill the beans:

This post is meant to mock 1)those guys that go travel around to schools and church groups and whatever, sit in a chair turned backwards, and "rap" with the kids about why sex is bad 2) my friend that thought that she was still a vigin despite giving obscene amounts of head to guys that she just met (I don't have a problem with it, just don't be militant about still having your v-card) and 3) anyone that anyone is really willing to settle for an HJ.

Friday, May 18, 2007  
Blogger The Film Geek said...

Now you tell me it was satire. After I read this earlier I called my insurance company and upped my plan!

Friday, May 18, 2007  
Blogger Chris James said...

I was panicked at first, too. I mean how do yo think I got so many people to link to a crappy blog that mainly focuses on weather maps, road kill, and WSAZ's 37 hours of daily news coverage? :)

Oh, and typo alert: point three in my reply to JDB should read "anyone that is really willing to settle for an HJ."

Friday, May 18, 2007  

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