... A Sour Apple Tree

Your source for fast and/or frozen food reviews, Huntington and/or West Virginia commentary, rasslin' (not wrestling) nostalgia, bad parody, dumb satire, rejected slogans, pointless lists, unreliable sports predictions, and funny local pictures.

Location: Huntington, WV, United States

I'm a 37 year-old guy from Huntington, WV.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

TV commercial round-up: Suddenlink

Both my wife and I feel that cable television, in its current form, is the biggest ripoff going these days. It seems that my friends who shell out the big bucks for the service are basically paying $90 for the privilege of taking an extra ten minutes to figure out that their ain't shit on the tube. I could see paying a few bucks for a la carte service of the 5 good cable channels or DirecTV and their Sunday Ticket NFL package and the tons of HD channels that they offer.

But what is the biggest reason I don't want cable? It is those damn obnoxious Suddenlink commercials. Yes, I know that Suddenlink isn't the cable company for Huntington, but I really don't care. They've poisoned the well for all cable companies, and I ain't gonna drink.

They started off with a bad stand-up comedian doing bad stand-up comedy about why high speed Internet and cable TV can make your life better and can improve your relationship with your parents. Lame, but not horrible.

Then it started getting really bad. Now, the commercials feature unattractive dorky upper middle class white people who cannot dance (you guessed it) dancing. One has an older lady doing "the Elaine" to the digital music channels, while another has the sort of prick who will let a door slam on someone carrying a baby on his way into Macy's doing some lamewad pointing dance with his cordless phone. I think that same commercial also has a Volvo-driving Soccer Mom doing something resembling "churning the butter" with her phone bill.

Look, Suddenlink, I know that your target audiences are folks who don't have anything better to spend their inflated paychecks on other than celebreality shows on VH1 and pretentious dramadies on Showtime and, one day when we get our massif student loans paid off, we will probably just the sort of douchebags you are lookin' for. But, when I get to the point where my main concerns involve my McMansion and who's but I can kiss at the golf club, I will still want to pretend that I am not a total toolbox. All those commercials will do will make me think "I'm not like that and, just to prove it, I'm not getting Suddenlink. Now where is my gosh darn Pat Boone CD."

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Blogger All Click said...

haha i loved the sentiment in this post. I'm a suddenlink customer and feel exactly the same way. It's way too expensive and i'd happily pay less if they just wanna stop running those adverts.

"Joe likes spaceships" at least those days are gone.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007  
Blogger Silverback said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007  
Blogger Silverback said...

Watch the old blood pressure, Chris.

The director Michael Winner features in a set of car insurance commercials here in the UK and thinks he has coined a catch phrase in them.

Maybe he has, because someone has gone to the trouble of putting it to song......if you can call it that.

Anyway, I think you'd do well to note the catch phrase !


Wednesday, September 12, 2007  
Blogger Raging Red said...

God, I hate those commercials too. And I don't understand why they have ads for the cable company on cable. You already have my money. Don't make me cancel you!

Thursday, September 13, 2007  
Blogger Spike Nesmith said...

I've got four words for you... Joost, Veoh and Bit Torrent.


Monday, September 17, 2007  

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