... A Sour Apple Tree

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Location: Huntington, WV, United States

I'm a 37 year-old guy from Huntington, WV.

Monday, November 19, 2007

My wife thought that I was being racist...

The other day we were shopping in the Christmas section of Target and, while my wife was looking at some tablecloths, I loudly proclaimed "oooh, chocolate Santa! I likes the chocolate."

Thinking, I guess, that I was referring to a dark-skinned Santa statuette/doll, she turned to scold me for saying such things at all, much less in public.

But, alas, it was indeed a chocolate Santa, proving that I am not a racist, just hungry.


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9 Comments:

Blogger Blonde Goddess said...

Umm...are we not supposed to mention chocolate anymore?

I didn't get that memo...

Monday, November 19, 2007  
Blogger Chris James said...

I accidently left out part of my comment (I've fixed it so that it now makes sense).

Saying "I likes the chocolate" can, in addition to the obvious, also represent a particular interest in dating African American men or women in Huntingtonian slang.

Monday, November 19, 2007  
Blogger Buzzardbilly said...

I likes the chocolate too.

I also used to collect Black Santa before he was everywhere. It started during the disastrous first marriage. The ex's mother was the biggest racist I ever met. To the bigoted Brit bitch, everyone who wasn't pink was a 'little black bastard' which got on my last fucking nerve.

Well, the first Christmas that I was with her non-ass-wiping son in the US (and therefore had to send presents overseas to the BBB) my niece's school had a fundraiser. Among the things listed on the brochure was a set of "ethnic holiday paper." I bought it. Greatest paper ever. All Black Santa. I totally enjoyed shopping for BBB that year. I wrapped all of her little presents in Black Santa. It was a small satisfaction, but considering no man had ever wrested a second of satisfaction out of that bitch, I felt pretty good about it.

Monday, November 19, 2007  
Blogger Evil Twin's Wife said...

Ahh, but if that candy santa could talk, he'd say you were racist just for thinking it.

And, Buzzardbilly, have you forgotten the Evil Twin's dad? I hear tell he was the meanest racist on the planet.

Monday, November 19, 2007  
Blogger Chris James said...

ETW: Not really, as liking the chocolate can mean, well, liking chocolate, which I haven't let myself have for over a month.

BBilly: Man, old English really can be the worst. I was on a train in England and sitting at a table with an eldery Women's Institute sort, a Tory busniessman, and an Asian student. The old bird went into a tirade about immigrants and foreigners (I guess I didn't count cause I'm mostly-white). Even the old Tory guy wanted to slap her.

Monday, November 19, 2007  
Blogger Chris James said...

ETW: Scratch that, I just had a Kit-Kat...

Monday, November 19, 2007  
Blogger jennyville said...

Are you saying you aren't interested in dating African American men?

Huh.






(kidding! ;p)

Monday, November 19, 2007  
Blogger Buzzardbilly said...

LMAO at the old WI biddy. You know, that Calendar Girls movie was based on a WI near Skipton. I used to work in and go to Skipton all the time. Captain Picard lives in Skipton too. But, he doesn't like to be bothered at all.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007  
Blogger All Click said...

man I'm behind with reading my blogs... funny post! I love me a chocolate Santa.

Monday, November 26, 2007  

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