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Friday, March 21, 2008

Top pro wrestling-inspired penis names

10. The Berzerker

Do you yell "ush, ush, ush" repeatedly and insist on having a Japanese man yell at you during sex? If this sounds like you, then here is your new nickname for your weenie.

9. Ravishing Rick Rude

Has your penis ever shown up on two competitors on the same night? If you've managed to pull off that feet, then here is your dick's new alias.

8. The Nasty Boys

This is kind of a collective name for your junk. In this case, the penis would be "Brian Knobbs" and the 'nad bag would be "Jerry Saggs." Or maybe it is the other way around.

7.The Iron Sheik

If the only things that are keeping you from fucking some guy in the ass are "God, Jesus, and Vince McMahon," then, by all means, call your in-the-closet johnson "The Iron Sheik."

6. X-Pac

If women have ever left to get popcorn or to go to the bathroom during sex while you remain in bedroom doing crotch chops at a mirror, then this is the perfect name for your schlong.

5. The Total Package
This is a good name for one's penis if it is well-built and rather impressive to look at, but lacks stamina and has to rely on its partner in the ring, just like Lex Luger.

4. The Rock
A perfect name for anyone who has a penis that likes to refer to itself in the third person.

3. Ciclope
This WCW luchadore's name means "cyclops" in Spanish. Uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh.

2. The Heartbreak Kid
If your penis can last for over 60 minutes, but will refuse to work for months at a time after losing its smile, then you gotta name your willy after Shawn Michaels.

1. Razor Ramon
Are you a white guy from Minnesota with an obsession with Scarface and a increasingly self-destructive drinking problem? If so, then you should be inviting the ladies to "say hello to the bad guy."

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7 Comments:

Blogger RedZeppelin said...

You know, you could have just left the title of this post with no content and it would have been good enough. That's freaking hysterical.

Friday, March 21, 2008  
Blogger Blonde Goddess said...

LOL! What wit!

Friday, March 21, 2008  
Blogger The Film Geek said...

Brilliant.

Just. Fuckin'. Brilliant.

Friday, March 21, 2008  
Blogger Jackie said...

L.M.F.A.O.

But seriously, I like to think I named mine "Razor Ramon" waaay before that guy came along...

Sunday, March 23, 2008  
Blogger jennyville said...

Now I'm going to have to give all my old boyfriends new nicknames. ;)

Thursday, March 27, 2008  
Blogger Chris James said...

Zep - I must have rejected 15 or so that couldn't live up to the title. For example, El Gigante was too obvious and Pat Patterson was too easy.

BG & TFG - Thanks.

Jackie - $10 if you can prove that you called your schlong "Razor Ramon" before 1992.

Jenny - I think you told me about Lex one time.

Saturday, March 29, 2008  
Blogger moneytastesbad said...

What about if you get all psyched up, put on your fancy cap, but stumble and fall as you are busting through the wall.

You would then be The Shockmaster!

Monday, March 31, 2008  

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