... A Sour Apple Tree

Your source for fast and/or frozen food reviews, Huntington and/or West Virginia commentary, rasslin' (not wrestling) nostalgia, bad parody, dumb satire, rejected slogans, pointless lists, unreliable sports predictions, and funny local pictures.

Location: Huntington, WV, United States

I'm a 37 year-old guy from Huntington, WV.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

...ASAT fake restaurant rankings for August 26, 1998

Keeping with the college theme, here is a fake old post of mine from the start of my sophomore year in college. This is one of my first cracks at ranking restaurants in Huntington*:

1. Calamity Cafe: The Cadillac Ranch dressing. Three kinds of butter. Half-pound burgers. Thank God this place is close to campus, as I have to waddle for three hours after every lunch there. I bet they could open up another restaurant and franchise this place and totally not screw it up and sink everything. My one complaint would be the Pepsi. What self-respecting bar doesn't have Coke?

2. Rax: The BBC is the best sandwich ever conceived. I hope that they start selling their BBQ sauce.

3. Chili Willi's: I hate walking all the way to 9th Street (home of the plaza rats) but the unique charm of the cramped location and an unwavering commitment to quality have hardened this place's reputation with its loyal clientele.

4. Mycrofts: They have a great "toofer" happy hour special on brews and burgers. My only fear is that this new student rec center that our new student body president, Brandy Jacobs, is pushing will lead to the leveling of the lot and, with the way plans change, the site will probably just end up being a place for doctors, lawyers, and engineers to get sloshed on Saturday mornings in the fall.

5. Stewart's: All of my new friends from Huntington swear by this place for the best hot dogs. I'm still getting used to them, but I'm sure that I will one day come to love upside-down bean-paste dogs with not slaw and I, like everyone else, won't shut up about how awesome they are.

6. B-W 3's: On 25 cent wing night, I totally Mao on all the flavors. Plus, I can play trivia against other drunks all across the country!

7. Ward's: It's 2 AM and you are wasted. What are you doing? That's right, ordering 6 crullers and 3 hot dogs with sauce. Just don't ask them to break a $20.

8. Nawab: This new Indian food is saaaa-weet. I could totally see how folks could eat this 3 or 4 times a week!

9. Giovanni's Pizza: A chill place to hang out while serving a 3 month ban from the Stoned Monkey for smuggling in a beer bong and a 17 year-old friend from high school. Good breadstix, to boot.

10. Memorial Student Center: Try topping a Pizza Hut pizza with some Chick-fil-A slaw.

So, whaddya say, anyone wanna meet me at Calamity tonight?

*not really

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Blogger Chris James said...

Hon. mentions: Chi-Chi's, Happy Dragon, and Burger King.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008  
Blogger oncee said...

Oh man. The put a tear in my eye. I really miss the Calamity Cafe. And I really, really miss Mycrofts at football season.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008  

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