... A Sour Apple Tree

Your source for fast and/or frozen food reviews, Huntington and/or West Virginia commentary, rasslin' (not wrestling) nostalgia, bad parody, dumb satire, rejected slogans, pointless lists, unreliable sports predictions, and funny local pictures.

Location: Huntington, WV, United States

I'm a 37 year-old guy from Huntington, WV.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Tips for Marshall students for Monday.

This week, ...A Sour Apple Tree joins 85% of the nation's 700 million bloggers in offering unsolicited, out-dated advice to college students unlikely to ever read it as they are totally outside of our demographic.

  • Once upon a time, you could use your meal plan to pay for Chick-fil-A for Friday dinner. If this is still the case, make sure to date a Catholic and then go with him/her and some of his/her friends from the Marshall Newman Marshall Catholic Marshall Center to the MSC on a Friday during lent and make sweet mouthlove to your sandwich as they eat cottage cheese and pineapple.
  • You can get a free hot dog at Hillbilly Hot Dogs on 3rd Ave if you memorize and sing their jingle.
  • New China Garden (6th Ave & 8th St) has the best Chinese food.


  • The stairwell and elevators in TTW may look just like those in TTE, but you aren't allowed to pee or spit in them.
  • Turn down the first 20 or so invites from friends to go to any on-campus group (save academic honoraries) from friends, even if you think you might be interested. This will allow you to sort out the cultish and the exploitative from the chill.
  • The best student-ccessible bathroom is in the honors suite near the ass-end of Old Main's second floor. Just act like you belong there (a Hollister shirt might help) and no one will bother you.


  • Liberal artisans: you gotta take 3 sciences. Be sure that rocks for jocks and physical geography are two of them.
  • Non-COLA students: a minor in history or lit or philosophy looks great on any transcript.
  • Pick up a minor in your foreign language.
  • Don't be scared of GAs for 100-level classes. They often give more of a crap about an introductory class than an over-worked tenure-track prof would.


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Blogger RedZeppelin said...

Here's another one: Never drop a course after the first class. Some profs like to be gruff and intimidating on day one to weed out the chaff.

Monday, August 25, 2008  
Blogger Lara, the Neurotic Att'y said...

Ew, you like New China Garden?

You forgot one very important piece of advice, so let me step in for just a second: Students, if you decide to step out into 5th Avenue in front of MY car, you better be in a crosswalk, or I WILL hit you. The crosswalk is there for a reason. Use it. AND it's state law that drivers must yield to pedestrians in a crosswalk, so if you get hit in a crosswalk, your parents can sue for the money to pay off your college. Now go forth and act studious.

Monday, August 25, 2008  
Blogger JDB said...

Liberal artisans: you gotta take 3 sciences.

But actual scientists don't have to take, like, a history, poli sci, or philosophy class (at least at WVU). And we wonder how we end up with 8 years of Duhbya. *shakes head*

Monday, August 25, 2008  

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