... A Sour Apple Tree

Your source for fast and/or frozen food reviews, Huntington and/or West Virginia commentary, rasslin' (not wrestling) nostalgia, bad parody, dumb satire, rejected slogans, pointless lists, unreliable sports predictions, and funny local pictures.

Location: Huntington, WV, United States

I'm a 37 year-old guy from Huntington, WV.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

...ASAT 10 All-Time Least Favorite Professional Wrestlers

1. Hulk Hogan. As a face, I got so sick of watching the same match: he gets beat down, "Hulks" up, no-sells, big boot, leg drop, pin. Over and over and over. As a heel in WCW, he'd just sit on the title for months, thanks to his buddies holding the book. Booooooring.

2. Lex Luger. I hope this was just kayfabe, but he was a total dick to me when I was a kid and tried to get his autograph outside of the Charleston Marriott.

3. John Cena. There is something about him that reminds me of the biggest asshole in my high school. The dumb hand gestures, horrible rapping, and total lack of in-ring talent are just gravy.

4. Sean Waltman. If my best friends were the biggest stars in sports entertainment, I bet I could have gotten a push, too. I'm about his size and have about the same athletic skill (none).

5. Bill Goldberg. Marginal ability aside, I can never forgive him for ending Bret Hart's career with a sloppy kick to the head.

6. Tito Santana. In retrospect, it wasn't his fault that I never liked watching him perform, but the whole always-smiling babyface of the 1980s thing made me sick.

7. Hillbilly Jim. Even as a kid, I hated hixploitation.

8. HHH. Solid worker? Sure. "King of Kings?" No. Son-in-law of the owner? Bingo.

9. El Gigante. He is tall. Really tall. That's it.

10. Paul Roma. Worst. Horseman. Ever.

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Blogger Buzzardbilly said...

Dast thee besmirch the name of my beloved David Jo? I may just make that top ten list of rasslers if so. :)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009  
Blogger Buzzardbilly said...

You have an award over at my place (despite the mocking of David Johansen)!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009  
Blogger Chris James said...

I can't find my award yet, BB. This isn't one of those FBI awards stings, is it? :P

Wednesday, May 13, 2009  
Blogger The Film Geek said...

Great list. I can't disagree with any of them, although I thought HHH was a better worker and real student of the lifestyle until he married into the family.

Another? Rick Steiner. As much as I wanted to like him, he had no real personality, and no flexibility in the ring.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009  
Blogger Chris James said...

(Dis)honorable mention: PN News, Big Josh, Koko B. Ware, George "The Animal" Steele, Alex Wright, Kamala, and Lanny Poffo.

I also thought about adding Chris Benoit for obvious reasons, but the events surrounding his death do not erase the fact that between Hart's retirement and his demise he was the best in the business.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

What? No Shockmaster?

Thursday, May 14, 2009  
Blogger Chris James said...

Fred "Shockmaster" Ottman was a solid, if not spectacular, tag team big man as "Typhoon" with John "Earthquake" Tenta as part of the Natural Disasters, so he gets forgiven for tripping through some poorly-hung drywall.

That said, I still reserve the right to watch the video on youtube and LMFAO on a weekly basis.

Friday, May 15, 2009  

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