... A Sour Apple Tree

Your source for fast and/or frozen food reviews, Huntington and/or West Virginia commentary, rasslin' (not wrestling) nostalgia, bad parody, dumb satire, rejected slogans, pointless lists, unreliable sports predictions, and funny local pictures.

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Location: Huntington, WV, United States

I'm a 37 year-old guy from Huntington, WV.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Celebrating John Calvin's 500th Birthday

Today is the 500th anniversary of John Calvin's birthday, so here is how I plan to celebrate:

1. Throwing footstools at Anglican priests.
2. Accepting that I am double predestined to eat whatever my wife makes for dinner.
3. See more old queens than the time I visited Buckingham Palace.
4. Wear a kilt to church despite the fact that no one in my ancestry has been to Scotland in nearly 300 years.
5. Move to Ulster and pretend that it was mine all along, then move (back) to Appalachia.

All joking aside, a hat tip to all of my Reformed and/or Presbyterian on this day of great importance to them.

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4 Comments:

Blogger Elvis Drinkmo said...

"Double predestination". I love it. Only someone as divine as the English Christian God could have it two ways. "For he is doubly wise: he will buy his groceries at Kroger and will not shop at Walmart." Whereas, the simple beings of the cosmos just shop at Kroger.

And since my great-gramma did go to Scotland back in the 50s to visit the area my family clan purportedly originated from- I should be able wear a kilt with pride. :)

Friday, July 10, 2009  
Blogger Damon said...

Never much cared for calvin.. Now, hobbes on the other hand is cool in my book

Saturday, July 11, 2009  
Blogger Buzzardbilly said...

Who doesn't love throwing footstools at Anglican priests?

BTW, there is an invite for all who want to partake in some tacky fun right in your hometown on my blog. Bouffant hairdo is, of course, not a requirement for anyone, much less dudes...but, some tacky clothes and a little slickback with some Dapper Dan might be fun if you felt like it. Or, just come as you are. All are welcome. Curmy's coming, but I doubt his curmudgeonliness will allow for any hairfoolery. Grasshopper's coming. Other folks are coming. Y'all come.

Sunday, July 12, 2009  
Blogger Chris James said...

Sorry, can't make it, BB. I hope you have a whole helluvah lot of a good time, though.

Damon: No doubt. Calvin spends entirely too much time urinating on truck and NASCAR logos to be of much good these days.

Thursday, July 16, 2009  

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