... A Sour Apple Tree

Your source for fast and/or frozen food reviews, Huntington and/or West Virginia commentary, rasslin' (not wrestling) nostalgia, bad parody, dumb satire, rejected slogans, pointless lists, unreliable sports predictions, and funny local pictures.

Location: Huntington, WV, United States

I'm a 37 year-old guy from Huntington, WV.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

My Top Ten Star Wars Characters

1. Boba Fett: Biggest bad-ass in the history of fictional characters.

2. Lando Calrissian: A smooth operator who enjoys Colt 45.

3. Bib Fortuna: He keeps Jabba's shit together.

4. Bossk: If that lizard dude was looking for me, I'd crap my pants.

5. Obi-Wan Kenobi: Probably the single most empowering gay character in the history of cinema (he was gay, right?)

6. Darth Vader: Paradise lost, paradise regained.

7. Admiral Ackbar: He should take over in Afghanistan.

8. Jek Porkins (aka "Red Six"): Proof that you can enjoy a bratwurst (or 12) and still be an X-Wing pilot.

9. Chewbacca: He was totally robbed of a commendation at the end of A New Hope, FWIW.

10. Jabba the Hut: Didn't he almost have it all?

Hon metion: Princess Leia (in the metal bikini) and Mace Windu (my wife gets onto me for using my son's MW action figure to call the other Galactic Heroes "MFers")

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Blogger Chris James said...

ed. note: If you click on one in-text external link in a blog post this year, make sure it is the one for Mace Windu, motherfucker.

Thursday, October 01, 2009  
Blogger Paul said...



Thursday, October 01, 2009  
Blogger NomadLives said...

No IG-88? He was a bounty hunter/assassin and he was a droid. Much cooler than boba fett, imo.

Thursday, October 01, 2009  
Blogger Chris James said...

Paul: That lizard humanoid scares the piss out of me. I mean, come on, he doesn't have to wear shoes even! As a kid, I'd use my Bossk action figure in several cross-over adventures with Skeletor, Megatron, and Destro.

Nomad: While IG-88 was out getting a lube job from C-3PO, Boba was busy delivering Han's frozen ass to Jabba.

Friday, October 02, 2009  
Blogger NomadLives said...

Thats right. Boba Fett was a delivery man. Fedex for Vader and Jaba.

Fine, you can have the same favorite bounty hunter as every other star wars fan... Boring Boba Fett.. Yawn

Saturday, October 03, 2009  
Blogger Chris James said...

That's like saying that Jemerson Moseley isn't as good as Guinness Clark's Wine just 'cause Moseley is more popular.

Saturday, October 03, 2009  

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