... A Sour Apple Tree

Your source for fast and/or frozen food reviews, Huntington and/or West Virginia commentary, rasslin' (not wrestling) nostalgia, bad parody, dumb satire, rejected slogans, pointless lists, unreliable sports predictions, and funny local pictures.

Location: Huntington, WV, United States

I'm a 37 year-old guy from Huntington, WV.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Save some cash on Healthy Choice Sweet Asian Potstickers...

...or any other Healthy Choice frozen meal. One of their marketing folks emailed me this link to a coupon that they will be posting at midnight for $5 off 5 frozen meals. That would make them less than a dollar each @ WalMart.

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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Top Ten Wrestlers of the Decade

Here are the top ten wrestlers of the aughts based on in-ring performance, overall mic skills, and actual entertainment value for a fan of southern NWA rasslin and the late 90s Attitude era. Note that I'm not paying that much attention to undeserved title pushes (John Cena, Batista) and real-world indiscretions (Chris Benoit, drug users).

1. Chris Jericho
2. Kurt Angle
3. Chris Benoit
4. Edge
5. Christian
6. Rob Van Dam
7. Shawn Michaels
8. Jeff Hardy
9. Eddie Guerrero
10. Tie: CM Punk & Undertaker

Hon mention: Victoria (aka Tara), Samoa Joe, The Rock, Triple H

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Saturday, December 26, 2009

Week 16 NFL Picks

Charger @ Titans
Broncos @ Eagles
Chiefs @ Bengals
Bills @ Falcons
Raiders @ Browns
Panthers @ Giants
Seahawks @ Packers
Texans @ Dolphins
Buccaneers @ Saints
Jaguars @ Patriots
Ravens @ Steelers
Rams @ Cardinals
Lions @ 49ers
Jets @ Colts
Cowboys @ Redskins
Vikings @ Bears

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Thursday, December 24, 2009

Week 16 NFL Picks (Xmas Day Game)

Chargers @ Titans

My picks for the rest of the games will be up as soon as I get some sleep.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Guinness Clarke's Wine

Here is a new video from a gone-but-not-forgotten Huntington/Charleston band, Guinness Clarke's Wine:

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Thursday, December 17, 2009

Week 15 NFL Picks

Last week: 11-5 Season: 132-176

This week:

Colts @ Jaguars
Cowboys @ Saints
Texans @ Rams
Packers @ Steelers
Falcons @ Jets
Cardinals @ Lions
Bears @ Ravens
Patriots @ Bills
Dolphins @ Titans
49ers @ Eagles
Browns @ Chiefs
Raiders @ Broncos
Bengals @ Chargers
Buccaneers @ Seahawks
Vikings @ Panthers
Giants @ Redskins

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Monday, December 14, 2009

What's that big wrapped box under the tree?

My three year-old's main Xmas gift, Jabba's Rancor!

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Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Week 14 NFL Picks

Last week I was a craptacular 7-9 for a season total of 121-71. This week:

Steelers @ Browns
Broncos @ Colts
Rams @ Titans
Bengals @ Vikings
Lions @ Ravens
Seahawks @ Texans
Saints @ Falcons
Packers @ Bears
Jets @ Buccaneers
Panthers @ Patriots
Dolphins @ Jaguars
Bills @ Chiefs
Redskins @ Raiders
Chargers @ Cowboys
Eagles @ Giants
Cardinals @ 49ers

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Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Old School

Watch live video from slapnut_v4 on Justin.tv

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Monday, December 07, 2009

Fake Heisman Trophy Ballot

Much like the Television Academy and the Pro Football Hall of Fame, the Downtown Athletic Club has yet again forgot to mail a ballot to West Virginia's 7th most popular sports, sitcom, and fast food blog. To counter this error, here is the ballot that I'm sending in on the back of a receipt from Family Dollar:

1. Ndamukong Suh, DT, Nebraska. I know that the Heisman is really an award for the best offensive back on an undefeated team, but Suh is still the best football player not playing in the NFL.

2. Toby Gerhart, RB, Stanford. He is a running back, but only on an above average team and not one of the elite programs, but he is still the top college back in the country.

3. Mark Ingram, RB, Alabama. He has had almost as good of a season as Gerhart and is on a team in the BCS championship game.

4. Colt McCoy, QB, Texas. A true leader that might very well lead his team to a national title.

5. Tim Tebow, QB, Florida. He'd probably be 3rd on my ballot if the Gators had won against the Tide. That said, Tebow won't win it this year, but he'll carry a Heisman from his sophomore year into what should be a solid pro career.

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Friday, December 04, 2009

World Cup Smack Talk: "Pwn Brittania"

The US has been drawn in the same group as England for the 2010 World Cup, so it our solemn patriotic duty to talk shit on cousins across the pond. Since it is soccer and Euro footy fans like singing silly songs, lemme drop this joint on one of their national songs that hearkens back to their vaguely-remembered glory:

"Pwn Britannia!
Those soccer-playin' knaves,
England's goalies ne'er can make saves!"

"Pwn Britannia
Meet our football Braves,
Bes' go hide inyer cheddar agin' caves."

Y'all might be the favorites, but we're ready to cause some headaches and early exits. Bring it, window-lickers.

Now my interns have to go study up on Algeria and Slovenia to find some dirt on them, which may be difficult, 'cause no one gives a rat's ass about Slovenia or Algeria...

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Thursday, December 03, 2009

Frozen Food Review: Lean Cuisine Asian-Style Pot Stickers

At WalMart I usually but a Healthy Choice Sweet Asian Pot Sticker or two every week for lunch. A couple of doors over, I've noticed that Lean Cuisine has pot sticker meal that costs about $.70 more, so it must be better, right?


The Lean Cuisine pot stickers have a meat-based filling that tastes like the poorly spiced mechanically-retrieved chicken found in Cambodian prison-grade egg rolls. The sauce tastes like the same Americanized "Asian" sauce that has been in crappy frozen Chinese-ish meals since 1946 except this version has been "pepped up" (if you'd call it that) with too much powdered ginger. Even the pasta won-ton thing had a sort of rubber taste and texture.

Stick to the Healthy Choice and save six bits (and your taste buds).
1 out of 5 Warner Olands.

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Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Week 13 NFL Picks

Last week I went 10-6 for a season total of 114-62. This week:

Jets @ Bills
Lions @ Bengals
Patriots @ Dolphins
Raiders @ Steelers
Titans @ Colts
Rams @ Bears
Broncos @ Chiefs
Buccaneers @ Panthers
Texans @ Jaguars
Saints @ Redskins
Eagles @ Falcons
Chargers @ Browns
Cowboys @ Giants
49ers @ Seahawks
Vikings @ Cardinals
Ravens @ Packers

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