... A Sour Apple Tree

Your source for fast and/or frozen food reviews, Huntington and/or West Virginia commentary, rasslin' (not wrestling) nostalgia, bad parody, dumb satire, rejected slogans, pointless lists, unreliable sports predictions, and funny local pictures.

Location: Huntington, WV, United States

I'm a 37 year-old guy from Huntington, WV.

Friday, January 29, 2010

NFL Pro Bowl Pick

AFC vs. NFC *

*Who gives a shit?

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Saturday, January 23, 2010

NFL Conference Championship Picks

Vikings @ Saints
Jets @ Colts

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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Top Ten Beverages of the Moment

1. Pepsi Throwback. Sugar, how I missed thee. It seriously tastes like my childhood. Coca-Cola, are you listening?

2. Pepsi Max. Caffeine is my friend.

3. Sam's Choice Zero Calorie. 80% of the taste of Coke Zero @ 60% of the price.

4. Tap water. It's free(ish).

5. Iced green tea. A solid caffeine buzz with a lighter touch than the sludgey coffee in the break room.

6. Silk Chocolate Soy Milk. I seem to drink half of a carton every time that I pour a small glass.

7. Dr. Pepper Throwback. Hello, Coca-Cola, is this thing on? *taptaptap*

8. Diet Pepsi. Allclick is right (don't you hate it how les rosbifs are always right about stuff?), it isn't as good as the Max.

9. Leftover potlikker from mustard greens. The original vitamin water. (Note: not a real beverage per se, it should only be slurped from a bowl after eating said greens)

10. Sheetz Banana White Chocolate Iced Soy Mochas. It would be higher, but I can only afford one like once a month.

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Monday, January 18, 2010

My first car

One of these days I'll let my dad sell my first car, a 1985 Subaru GL.

Either that, or pimp out what's left of it for my boys in 13 years.

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Friday, January 15, 2010

NFL Divisional Round Playoff Picks

Cardinals @ Saints
Ravens @ Colts
Cowboys @ Vikings
Jets @ Chargers

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Saturday, January 09, 2010

Fake Pro Football Hall of Fame Ballot

Jerry Rice
Emmitt Smith
Chris Carter
Dick LeBeau
Shannon Sharpe
John Randle

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Thursday, January 07, 2010

Wild Card NFL Picks

Jets @ Bengals
Eagles @ Cowboys
Ravens @ Patriots
Packers @ Cardinals

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Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Our country's security is in good hands

My wife and I were watching Wheel of Fortune the other night and, after this series of events, we were ready to move to Canada:

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Tuesday, January 05, 2010

If Massey Energy's ad agency lived here, too...

...then they'd stop calling it "Appa-LAY-sha."

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Monday, January 04, 2010

RIP Atacama

On the morning of January 4, 2010, Atacama, pet Chilean Rose Hair tarantula of Chris James, left her earthly cage for the great arid habitat in the sky after a long illness.

She was purchased in February 2001 at the Proctorville flea market by Mr. James' father for his 22 birthday in March of that year.

Her hobbies in her youth included climbing the walls and ceiling of her terrarium and spinning simple webbing on her bedding. In her older years, she enjoyed not moving for days and creeping out Mrs. James.

Some of her favorite foods were baby mice, crickets, camel crickets, and cicadas. She especially liked eating these delicacies after fasting for several months and molting.

Burial will be whenever the ground thaws out in the James' family back yard.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to the World Wildlife Fund's efforts to save her vulnerable homeland, the Atacama Desert.

Here is a pic of her after she molted last October:

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Saturday, January 02, 2010

Week 17 NFL Picks

Colts @ Bills
Jaguars @ Browns
Bears @ Lions
49ers @ Rams
Steelers @ Dolphins
Giants @ Vikings
Falcons @ Buccaneers
Saints @ Panthers
Patriots @ Texans
Packers @ Cardinals
Redskins @ Chargers
Titans @ Seahawks
Ravens @ Raiders
Eagles @ Cowybos
Chiefs @ Broncos
Bengals @ Jets

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