... A Sour Apple Tree

Your source for fast and/or frozen food reviews, Huntington and/or West Virginia commentary, rasslin' (not wrestling) nostalgia, bad parody, dumb satire, rejected slogans, pointless lists, unreliable sports predictions, and funny local pictures.

Location: Huntington, WV, United States

I'm a 37 year-old guy from Huntington, WV.

Monday, February 15, 2010

My Top Ten Winter Olympic Sports

1. Short Track Speed Skating. It mixes the thrill of NASCAR's races @ Bristol with the attention span considerations of a Gen X guy with two young children.

2. Ice Hockey. International rules rawk. More scoring and less drag. I hope the NHL finally adopts some of the rules.

3. Moguls. Dear God, their knees must be shot by the time that they are 40.

4. Biathlon. Why don't West Virginians excel at this? Skiin' & shootin' at stuff sounds like a winner in Pocahontas County.

5. Snowboard Halfpipe. 'Cause we'll kick butt.

6. Curling. So surreal.

7. Snowboard Cross. Uhuhuuhhhuh. Crashes are cool. Yeah. hehemheheh.

8. Ladies' Figure Skating. Gymnasts w/ bewbs.

9. Luge. It reminds me of when we'd spray WD-40 on our plastic sleds and go off of the steepest hills on the mountain.

10. Hoth-athalon. It's the one where you ride around on a tauntaun and dismember wampas with a lightsaber. Um, maybe that one isn't real...

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Anonymous Paul said...

If they'd change the biatholon to ATV riding and shooting then West Virginians would excel at it.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010  
Blogger Chris James said...

In Parkersburg, "bi"athalon means something else...

Monday, February 22, 2010  

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