West Virginia's finest "weed"

Fresh spring ramps, of course!

FU DJ...

...either that or congrats on getting a better gig. Or both. Not sure.

One thing is, though.

Herd b-ball=screwed

Up Yours, PBS

After watching a special on monkeys with the boys on PBS last night, we started getting them ready for bed. In the mean time, we left 33.3 on during the start of Masterpiece Classic's airing of Sharpe's Challenge.

PBS. Masterpiece Classics. Harmless, right?

No.

Within five minutes, there was a graphic massacre that would have made Quentin Tarantino proud.

I spent the next 15 minutes calming an overstimulated 3 year-old and, in the oddest turn of events in some time, telling a screaming toddler that he most certainly cannot watch "Masterpiece show with the blood and the 'fire!' and the 'BLAAAAMB.'"

That said, after I got him to bed, I watched the rest of the show. Good stuff, save Padma Lakshmi's "acting."

Food kids will eat: egg burger

The other evening my 3 year-old was was demanding a hamburger (after not touching a bite of his dinner). Not having the desire to mess with raw beef or to give him something that fatty, I offered him an "egg burger." After some confusion, he said "oh, yeah!"

I fried an egg over-hard in some olive oil with a bit of kosher salt and white pepper and topped it with some burger faves: American cheese (the good kind made with milk) and ketchup.


He scarfed it down in under five minutes.

The next time that a child is wanting something quick with a fun name and your not wanting to give them an all-processed meal, I highly recommend an egg burger. For some even healthier options, try one with a whole wheat bun and fresh salsa or leftover pasta sauce.

4 out of 5 Toy Robots.

Ramps are here!

I got my first batch of ramps for 2010 in yesterday. A buddy went fishing in Webster County this weekend and saw a dude selling 'em along the road and hooked me up (only asking for me to cook him some in exchange).

I cleaned and diced some and put them on a hot dog raw last night (more on than over at the WV Hot Dog Blog soon).

Since I already stink, I plan on eating them pretty much non-stop over the next several days.

Screw Christmas, this truly is the most wonderful time of the year!

Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution, Ep. 1

The truth kind of stings.

I might eat my share of fast food and processed junk, but this is why we make most of the stuff for our boys from scratch.

Good news, though: I get my first batch of ramps tomorrow. I'll be eating tons of veggies (well, ramps) from scratch over the next couple of weeks.

Huntington's most disorganized store: Family Dollar on 10th St.

Family Dollar is usually a good place to find deals on laundry & cleaning products, but the one on 10th St. in Huntington is a disorganized mess. Items are regularly left unpriced and many unopened shipping boxes are left scattered about the showroom:


I wish that this pic was the exception rather than the rule but, alas, it ain't.

Any other discount store FTW.

Commercials that never get old: Burger King's TenderCrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch

May no one ever fudge you 'cause you got the juice and may your train of ladies always have a nice caboose.

Frozen Food Review: Healthy Choice Creamy Basil Pesto

The second of the three frozen meals that Healthy Choice sent me for free up for review is the new Creamy Basil Pesto (note from the Dept. of Redundancy Dept.: Pesto almost always implies basil) (follow-up note from my interns from the Robert C. Byrd School of Blogonomics at Marshall University: uhhhh, what's pesto).

The dish features a spiral-ish cavatappi-style pasta that, while I usually find spiraled pastas to be childish, does hold the sauce quite well.

Speaking of the sauce, it is a somewhat Americanized version of basil with a thin and creamy texture. It has a rather understated flavor rather than trying to go for a bold "pop." It didn't cause bad breath, a nice note considering that I had the pasta for a mid-day lunch and had to mingle with coworkers for another 4 hours.

The cheese was an important component, as it gave the entree a pleasant saltiness that isn't found in many Healthy Choice meals. The tomato bits were also a nice touch, and they provided an understated element to the grub that, when added to the pasta and sauce, made for a rather flavorful bite of Italian-American food.

The worst part of the meal had to be the broccoli. Imagine store brand frozen boxes of the green veggie. Soggy and flavorless.

Another, albeit easy to correct drawback, of this entree was the fact that I was hungry again within a couple of hours. I wouldn't recommend this meal to someone with a bigger appetite without a piece of bread.

I give it 2.5 out of 5 Basil Rathbones. Not offensive, but not memorable. Just fine for a weekday lunch.

Pre-Tourney Final Four Picks

Semis
Kansas over Butler
Kentucky over Villanova

Final
Kentucky over Kansas

National Champs: University of Kentucky

NCAA Men's Basketball Championship Bracket: East Region Picks

First Round
1. Kentucky over 16. E. Tenn
8. Texas over 9. Wake Forest
5. Temple over 12. Cornell
4. Wisconsin over 13. Wofford
6. Marquette over 11. Washington
3. New Mexico over 14. Montana
10. Mizzou over 7. Clemson
2. West Virginia over 15. Morgan St.

Second Round
1. UK over 8. Texas
5. Temple over 4. Wisc.
3. NM over 10. Marquette
2. WVU over 10. Mizzou

Sweet 16
1. UK over 5. Temple
2. WVU over 3. NM

Elite 8
1. UK over 2. WVU

East Region Champs: Kentucky

NCAA Men's Basketball Championship Bracket: South Region Picks

Play-in
Winthrop over Ark. PB

First Round
1. Duke over 16. Winthrop
9. Louisville over 8. Cal
12. Utah St. over 5. Texas A&M
13. Siena over 4. Purdue
6. Notre Dame over 11. Old Dominion
3. Baylor over 14. Sam Houston St.
7. Richmond over 10. St. Mary's
2. Villanova over 15. Robert Morris

Second Round
1. Duke over 9. Louisville
12. Utah St. over 13. Siena
3. Baylor over 6. ND
2. Villanova over 7. Richmond

Sweet 16
1. Duke over 12. Utah St.
2. Villanova over 3. Baylor

Elite 8
2. Villanova over 1. Duke

South Region Champ: Villanova

NCAA Men's Basketball Championship Bracket: West Region Picks

Round 1
1. Syracuse over 16. Vermont
8. Gonzaga over 9. FSU
5. Butler over 12. UTEP
4. Vanderbilt over 13. Murray St.
11. Minn. over 6. Xavier
3. Pitt over 14. Oakland
7. BYU over 10. Florida
2. Kansas St. over 15. N. Texas

Round 2
1. Syracuse over 8. Gonzaga
5. Butler over 4. Vandy
3. Pitt over 11. Minn.
7. BYU over 2. K-State

Sweet 16
5. Butler over 1. Syracuse
7. BYU over 3. Pitt.

Elite 8
5. Butler over 7. BYU

West Region Champ: Butler

NCAA Men's Basketball Championship Bracket: Midwest Region Picks

Round 1
1. Kansas over 16. Lehigh
8. UNLV over 9. N. Iowa
5. Mich. St. over 12. NM St.
4. Maryland over 13. Houston
6. Tenn over 11. SD St.
3. Georgetown over 14. Ohio
10. Georgia Tech. over 7. Okl. St.
2. Ohio St. over 15. UCSB

Round 2
1. Kansas over 8. UNLV
5. Mich. St. over 4. Maryland
3. Georgetown over 6. Tenn.
2. Ohio St. over 10. Georgia Tech.

Sweet 16
1. Kansas over 5. Mich St.
3. Georgetown over 2. Ohio St.

Elite 8
1. Kansas over 3. Georgetown

Midwest Region Champs: Kansas

Frozen Food Review: Healthy Choice Tortellini Primavera Parmesan

In order to get the word out about some of their new frozen offerings, Healthy Choice recently shipped me some free samples of frozen meals to taste and review. First up is the Tortellini Primavera Parmesan.

First, I nibble on a sauce-covered carrot that proves to be rather crisp, especially for a frozen entrée. The sauce has a nice “spring”-like taste to it and the red peppers are employed properly. The zucchini is also a nice touch. That being said, it could use a touch more salt, heat, and garlic to go with the veggies.

The tortellini is a little on the doughy side, but they do have nice flavors (by frozen food standards), on the inside and, when taken together with some of the sauce and vegetables, the stuffed pasta delivers a pleasant hit of cheese in a full bite.

This dish is not ground breaking Italian cuisine by any means and it can grow a tad bit bland after several bites, but it is not a disappointing or wasted lunch by any means.

One final plus about this grub is that I certainly feel like I’ve eaten a healthy portion of vegetables with my lunch. I rarely get that feeling with my usual lunchtime options.

Random note: it pairs well with Mountain Dew Throwback.

3.5 out of 5 Warm Spring Rains, including a bonus half-point for making me eat 2.5 servings of veggies in one meal.

"Welcome to Huggstown?"

That is the name of an upcoming WOWK interview with WVU b-ball coach Bob Huggins.

With that dumb/creepy title, I'm officially rooting for UK.

Go Blue.

Ten outside sounds

I'm blogging outside today. Here are ten sounds that I can here:

1. ~37 birds
2. Trucks
3. Wire banging on a fencepost
4. Children playing
5. Mud puddle being driven over
6. Water dripping from a storm gutter in need of repair
7. Some guy trying to get another guy's attention
8. Car trying really hard to accelerate
9. Air conditioner (!)
10. Car & screen doors

Welcome back, Spring.

Fast food review: McDonald's Big Mac Snack Wrap

I'm a fan of fast food that is affordable and tasty. Sadly, drive-thru grub is getting more and more pricey in recent years with many "value" meals now costing over $6. Many ff joints have added "snack wrap" products to counter this trend and keep things in play for us upper lower middle class folk.

In keeping with my tendency to write about and photograph the food I eat, one of my readers requested that I give the new Big Mac Snack Wrap the ...ASAT treatment. When Macca's put some coupons in a recent batch of coupons for a freebie with a drink purchase, I figured now is as good of a time as any.

The wrap comes in a standard tortilla with lettuce, American cheese, pickles, Big Mac sauce, and half of a hamburger patty.

It has a nice, crunchy texture from the lettuce. The flavor of the pickles and the ample glob of secret sauce balance nicely and the sauce coats the lettuce for a pleasant salad effect. Even the small portion of beef and cheese keep the wrap from being too greasy or heavy.

Overall, this is the perfect fast food fix for those on a budget and/or diet or those who just want a little taste of Mac-ness without committing to eating a giant sandwich. It is my second-favorite Big Mac variant/knockoff behind Burger King's gone-but-ne'er-forgotten Big King.

4 out of 5 Captain Crooks.

This sauce is chili

In the world of West Virginia hot dogs, one is often confused about whether a given county serves their dogs with "sauce" or "chili."

Well, Stanton has sorted out the numbers and made an excellent new map to help sort out the issue and maybe prevent an awkward weenie-ordering moment or two at the WV Hot Dog Blog.

Have lunch on ...ASAT & Healthy Choice

As one of the West Virginia blogosphere's leading experts on the flavor profiles of frozen entrees, the folks at Healthy Choice recently shipped me three of their new frozen offerings for careful review and consideration.

While I'm digesting the offerings, I've got something for y'all. They also hooked me up with three coupons for a free Healthy Choice frozen food product to give away.

If you want in on the action, be one of the first three to email me as to why you deserve a free lunch.

Email your mailing information & the reason why you deserve lunch on us to asourappletree AT gmail DOT com & I'll get back to you IF you are one of the lucky winners.

Good luck.

Snarkless Friday: A baby bunny having a nom

Via Buzzfeed

"Have Katy Perry-sized boobs"

...ASAT trolls that British Columbia 2010 commercial from the Olympics

Right of the bat, they start saying "it's big....beautiful..." What are they talking about? I expected them to say stuff like "bulbous" and "curved slightly to the left" next.

Then Ryan Reynolds says "laid back." Fair enough.

Then one of the Sex in the City ladies is holding some red wine. When I think of catching a buzz in Vancouver, wine comes a distant third to 19 year-olds drinking Molson and, um, other stuff. I'd politely turn down all of that jazz, but 99.9% of American tourists probably would do one or the other...

"It doesn't get more West Coast than this(?!?!?)." To folks between Scranton and Boise, that might not be a selling point. It'd be a bit like Randy Moss and Jesco White shooting rats along the banks of the Kanawha River and saying "it don't get no more Appalachian than this, y'all." My wife also thinks that the comment is a swipe at Seattle.

Then it's killer whales, a basketball player (apparently), and the less-funny guy from that show with the gay dudes.

Conclusion: I'd love to go to BC for a vacation (or even to stay forever), but that commercial sure as hell has nothing to do with it.

1.5 out of 5 slush-covered ski runs.

Laziness @ Target

Couldn't take the cart 15 feet? Really?