... A Sour Apple Tree
Your source for fast and/or frozen food reviews, Huntington and/or West Virginia commentary, rasslin' (not wrestling) nostalgia, bad parody, dumb satire, rejected slogans, pointless lists, unreliable sports predictions, and funny local pictures.
- Name: Chris James
- Location: Huntington, WV, United States
I'm a 33 year-old guy from Huntington, WV.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Up Yours, PBS
PBS. Masterpiece Classics. Harmless, right?
Within five minutes, there was a graphic massacre that would have made Quentin Tarantino proud.
I spent the next 15 minutes calming an overstimulated 3 year-old and, in the oddest turn of events in some time, telling a screaming toddler that he most certainly cannot watch "Masterpiece show with the blood and the 'fire!' and the 'BLAAAAMB.'"
That said, after I got him to bed, I watched the rest of the show. Good stuff, save Padma Lakshmi's "acting."
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Food kids will eat: egg burger
I fried an egg over-hard in some olive oil with a bit of kosher salt and white pepper and topped it with some burger faves: American cheese (the good kind made with milk) and ketchup.
He scarfed it down in under five minutes.
The next time that a child is wanting something quick with a fun name and your not wanting to give them an all-processed meal, I highly recommend an egg burger. For some even healthier options, try one with a whole wheat bun and fresh salsa or leftover pasta sauce.
4 out of 5 Toy Robots.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Ramps are here!
I cleaned and diced some and put them on a hot dog raw last night (more on than over at the WV Hot Dog Blog soon).
Since I already stink, I plan on eating them pretty much non-stop over the next several days.
Screw Christmas, this truly is the most wonderful time of the year!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution, Ep. 1
The truth kind of stings.
I might eat my share of fast food and processed junk, but this is why we make most of the stuff for our boys from scratch.
Good news, though: I get my first batch of ramps tomorrow. I'll be eating tons of veggies (well, ramps) from scratch over the next couple of weeks.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Huntington's most disorganized store: Family Dollar on 10th St.
I wish that this pic was the exception rather than the rule but, alas, it ain't.
Any other discount store FTW.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Commercials that never get old: Burger King's TenderCrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Frozen Food Review: Healthy Choice Creamy Basil Pesto
The dish features a spiral-ish cavatappi-style pasta that, while I usually find spiraled pastas to be childish, does hold the sauce quite well.
Speaking of the sauce, it is a somewhat Americanized version of basil with a thin and creamy texture. It has a rather understated flavor rather than trying to go for a bold "pop." It didn't cause bad breath, a nice note considering that I had the pasta for a mid-day lunch and had to mingle with coworkers for another 4 hours.
The cheese was an important component, as it gave the entree a pleasant saltiness that isn't found in many Healthy Choice meals. The tomato bits were also a nice touch, and they provided an understated element to the grub that, when added to the pasta and sauce, made for a rather flavorful bite of Italian-American food.
The worst part of the meal had to be the broccoli. Imagine store brand frozen boxes of the green veggie. Soggy and flavorless.
Another, albeit easy to correct drawback, of this entree was the fact that I was hungry again within a couple of hours. I wouldn't recommend this meal to someone with a bigger appetite without a piece of bread.
I give it 2.5 out of 5 Basil Rathbones. Not offensive, but not memorable. Just fine for a weekday lunch.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Pre-Tourney Final Four Picks
Kansas over Butler
Kentucky over Villanova
Kentucky over Kansas
National Champs: University of Kentucky
NCAA Men's Basketball Championship Bracket: East Region Picks
1. Kentucky over 16. E. Tenn
8. Texas over 9. Wake Forest
5. Temple over 12. Cornell
4. Wisconsin over 13. Wofford
6. Marquette over 11. Washington
3. New Mexico over 14. Montana
10. Mizzou over 7. Clemson
2. West Virginia over 15. Morgan St.
1. UK over 8. Texas
5. Temple over 4. Wisc.
3. NM over 10. Marquette
2. WVU over 10. Mizzou
1. UK over 5. Temple
2. WVU over 3. NM
1. UK over 2. WVU
East Region Champs: Kentucky
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
NCAA Men's Basketball Championship Bracket: South Region Picks
Winthrop over Ark. PB
1. Duke over 16. Winthrop
9. Louisville over 8. Cal
12. Utah St. over 5. Texas A&M
13. Siena over 4. Purdue
6. Notre Dame over 11. Old Dominion
3. Baylor over 14. Sam Houston St.
7. Richmond over 10. St. Mary's
2. Villanova over 15. Robert Morris
1. Duke over 9. Louisville
12. Utah St. over 13. Siena
3. Baylor over 6. ND
2. Villanova over 7. Richmond
1. Duke over 12. Utah St.
2. Villanova over 3. Baylor
2. Villanova over 1. Duke
South Region Champ: Villanova
NCAA Men's Basketball Championship Bracket: West Region Picks
1. Syracuse over 16. Vermont
8. Gonzaga over 9. FSU
5. Butler over 12. UTEP
4. Vanderbilt over 13. Murray St.
11. Minn. over 6. Xavier
3. Pitt over 14. Oakland
7. BYU over 10. Florida
2. Kansas St. over 15. N. Texas
1. Syracuse over 8. Gonzaga
5. Butler over 4. Vandy
3. Pitt over 11. Minn.
7. BYU over 2. K-State
5. Butler over 1. Syracuse
7. BYU over 3. Pitt.
5. Butler over 7. BYU
West Region Champ: Butler
NCAA Men's Basketball Championship Bracket: Midwest Region Picks
1. Kansas over 16. Lehigh
8. UNLV over 9. N. Iowa
5. Mich. St. over 12. NM St.
4. Maryland over 13. Houston
6. Tenn over 11. SD St.
3. Georgetown over 14. Ohio
10. Georgia Tech. over 7. Okl. St.
2. Ohio St. over 15. UCSB
1. Kansas over 8. UNLV
5. Mich. St. over 4. Maryland
3. Georgetown over 6. Tenn.
2. Ohio St. over 10. Georgia Tech.
1. Kansas over 5. Mich St.
3. Georgetown over 2. Ohio St.
1. Kansas over 3. Georgetown
Midwest Region Champs: Kansas
Monday, March 15, 2010
Frozen Food Review: Healthy Choice Tortellini Primavera Parmesan
First, I nibble on a sauce-covered carrot that proves to be rather crisp, especially for a frozen entrée. The sauce has a nice “spring”-like taste to it and the red peppers are employed properly. The zucchini is also a nice touch. That being said, it could use a touch more salt, heat, and garlic to go with the veggies.
The tortellini is a little on the doughy side, but they do have nice flavors (by frozen food standards), on the inside and, when taken together with some of the sauce and vegetables, the stuffed pasta delivers a pleasant hit of cheese in a full bite.
This dish is not ground breaking Italian cuisine by any means and it can grow a tad bit bland after several bites, but it is not a disappointing or wasted lunch by any means.
One final plus about this grub is that I certainly feel like I’ve eaten a healthy portion of vegetables with my lunch. I rarely get that feeling with my usual lunchtime options.
Random note: it pairs well with Mountain Dew Throwback.
3.5 out of 5 Warm Spring Rains, including a bonus half-point for making me eat 2.5 servings of veggies in one meal.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
"Welcome to Huggstown?"
With that dumb/creepy title, I'm officially rooting for UK.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Ten outside sounds
1. ~37 birds
3. Wire banging on a fencepost
4. Children playing
5. Mud puddle being driven over
6. Water dripping from a storm gutter in need of repair
7. Some guy trying to get another guy's attention
8. Car trying really hard to accelerate
9. Air conditioner (!)
10. Car & screen doors
Welcome back, Spring.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Fast food review: McDonald's Big Mac Snack Wrap
In keeping with my tendency to write about and photograph the food I eat, one of my readers requested that I give the new Big Mac Snack Wrap the ...ASAT treatment. When Macca's put some coupons in a recent batch of coupons for a freebie with a drink purchase, I figured now is as good of a time as any.
The wrap comes in a standard tortilla with lettuce, American cheese, pickles, Big Mac sauce, and half of a hamburger patty.
It has a nice, crunchy texture from the lettuce. The flavor of the pickles and the ample glob of secret sauce balance nicely and the sauce coats the lettuce for a pleasant salad effect. Even the small portion of beef and cheese keep the wrap from being too greasy or heavy.
Overall, this is the perfect fast food fix for those on a budget and/or diet or those who just want a little taste of Mac-ness without committing to eating a giant sandwich. It is my second-favorite Big Mac variant/knockoff behind Burger King's gone-but-ne'er-forgotten Big King.
4 out of 5 Captain Crooks.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
This sauce is chili
Well, Stanton has sorted out the numbers and made an excellent new map to help sort out the issue and maybe prevent an awkward weenie-ordering moment or two at the WV Hot Dog Blog.
Monday, March 08, 2010
Have lunch on ...ASAT & Healthy Choice
While I'm digesting the offerings, I've got something for y'all. They also hooked me up with three coupons for a free Healthy Choice frozen food product to give away.
If you want in on the action, be one of the first three to email me as to why you deserve a free lunch.
Email your mailing information & the reason why you deserve lunch on us to asourappletree AT gmail DOT com & I'll get back to you IF you are one of the lucky winners.
Friday, March 05, 2010
Snarkless Friday: A baby bunny having a nom
Thursday, March 04, 2010
"Have Katy Perry-sized boobs"
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
...ASAT trolls that British Columbia 2010 commercial from the Olympics
Right of the bat, they start saying "it's big....beautiful..." What are they talking about? I expected them to say stuff like "bulbous" and "curved slightly to the left" next.
Then Ryan Reynolds says "laid back." Fair enough.
Then one of the Sex in the City ladies is holding some red wine. When I think of catching a buzz in Vancouver, wine comes a distant third to 19 year-olds drinking Molson and, um, other stuff. I'd politely turn down all of that jazz, but 99.9% of American tourists probably would do one or the other...
"It doesn't get more West Coast than this(?!?!?)." To folks between Scranton and Boise, that might not be a selling point. It'd be a bit like Randy Moss and Jesco White shooting rats along the banks of the Kanawha River and saying "it don't get no more Appalachian than this, y'all." My wife also thinks that the comment is a swipe at Seattle.
Then it's killer whales, a basketball player (apparently), and the less-funny guy from that show with the gay dudes.
Conclusion: I'd love to go to BC for a vacation (or even to stay forever), but that commercial sure as hell has nothing to do with it.
1.5 out of 5 slush-covered ski runs.